Dinner Party
by 2nd Star tothe Right
Summary: Alice comes home to find Bella cooking. Apparently Carlisle was backed into throwing a human dinner party for co-workers... who have very observant antagonistic kids...
1. Chapter 1

Dinner Party by 2nd Star tothe Right

_Everything in the Twilight universe is Stephenie Meyer's. Thank you very much for letting me play with your toys._

Alice's POV

Set after Eclipse, Bella's still human

Chapter One

Jasper heard my car and was out the front door before I had even begun to pull up the driveway. He trotted out to meet me, grinning widely, and waited until I put the car in park before grabbing me by the arm, kissing me briefly, and then hustling me inside. "Bella's cooking," He said by way of explanation.

"Yeah, I saw her in the kitchen while I was driving here, but what's that about?" He was about to explain but we were nearly at the kitchen doorway, and I could hear Emmett and Bella from halfway down the hall.

Inside the spacious, immaculate kitchen was quite a scene. It could almost be something from a Norman Rockwell paining... if the kitchen weren't full of vampires. Edward heard my thought and snorted but otherwise ignored me. He was standing to one side of Bella, who had her back to me; she was chopping something on the counter and directing her boyfriend in the art of preheating the oven. This was new.

Esme was hovering over Bella's shoulder, concentrating fiercely and actually taking notes on a little yellow memo pad. They were both wearing aprons and had their sleeves rolled up, but it was actually a cute look- I'd have to try it sometime. When did they get those aprons anyway? Someone had been shopping without me…

Emmett was leaning over the island chopping block, which was threatening to collapse under his weight; his elbows were hooked over the other side and he was pelting Bella with questions, cooking-related and otherwise.

When Jasper and I came in he stopped long enough to cheer, "Hi Alice! Bella's cooking!" Bella took advantage of his distraction to ask Edward, "Is Rosalie coming soon? I need the stuff she's bringing." On cue Rosalie breezed through the back kitchen door, arms full of paper grocery bags.

Woah. Ever since their little talk a couple months ago; Rosalie had been trying out a tentative friendliness towards Bella. Or at least she was speaking to her… and apparently running errands for her... Even so, only half of this newly formed duo ate human food, so… "What's going on?"

Bella twisted around and raised an eyebrow at me, but nearly cut herself with the chopping knife, so Edward relieved her of it and she came to help Rosalie sort groceries. "I had Edward ask Rosalie to pick up some things on her way back. She was done before you were." Rosalie had I had both been on solo hunting, ah, day trips… bird watching…

Apparently I had been too preoccupied to catch what was going on because I still had no idea why Bella was cooking in our kitchen.

I closed my eyes and skipped through pictures of the immediate future like they were a scrapbook. I stopped when I saw a human family sitting down at our dinner table. I opened my eyes in time to see Jasper smiling at my expression. He gave me the details my vision hadn't.

"Carlisle's doctor friend finally wormed his way into a dinner invitation. Carlisle's been turning him down for months, and it was going to get ugly soon, but the friend invited us all over for dinner and Carlisle thought it might be…smoother… if we all met here. So they're coming over tonight and Bella offered to cook to make it all a little more natural. But none of us had much notice- Carlisle only called a couple hours ago, and since Bella is the only one who knows how to cook (Bella grinned triumphantly) it is going at a very…human… pace." (Bella glared.)

I remembered something else I had seen while I was skimming, "Bella, careful, you're going to cut yourself!" She had gotten the knife back from Edward and glanced up from a pile of red peppers, "Huh? OUCH!"

"Sorry."

It was only a tiny cut, more like a nick, but Jasper slid discreetly out of the kitchen and Edward was glaring at me as though it were my fault, so I went over to help Rosalie finish unpacking.

Instead she handed me a tube of ointment and a small roll of bandages. "I thought something like this might happen."

"Oh. Clever," I handed the supplies to Edward and was apparently forgiven.

Emmett suddenly got bored of being ignored, "Bella, how come you need different shapes of pans and what's the difference between chopping and dicing, and why is there a difference, and how come you're spraying all the pans before you put stuff in, and can you really smell this stuff 'cause I can't and this isn't any fun- Wouldn't you rather chase your food?"

There were a couple minutes of silence in the kitchen and then Bella started giggling. "Esme, could you read me off that last thing, please?"

She was promptly interrupted by Emmett, who beat me to my next question anyway, "And how come she has to know all this stuff? I mean, it's kinda interesting, but, taking notes?"

Esme passed Bella her notes and explained, "Bella and I agreed that it would more conventional if Carlisle's friends think I made dinner. So we thought I should be able to answer questions about it. You know ingredients and technique."

She made it sound like rocket science, but to a creature with no sense of smell or taste, cooking pretty much was. I nodded at their forethought (that was usually my department) and asked if I could do anything to help.

Bella, who was apparently Captain of the Day, asked me to help Rosalie make the place look ' a little more lived in.' Rosalie nodded seriously and handed Edward one of her grocery bags, then picked up the remaining ones and went to the living room. I had to ask. "What was that? The one you gave to Edward?"

Bella's voice echoed from the kitchen, "OUCH!"

Rosalie simply nodded, "That."

I had a moment's picture of Edward wrapping a bandage around a burn near her elbow. It was only a small one, and he was going over board. In another moment she would slip it off. They were so cute!

Rosalie poked me and I snapped out of the future. She passed me some magazines to put on the coffee table. As I set them out and bent a few pages to make them look used, she carefully mussed the pillows on the sofa commenting, "Bella thinks it's too perfect-looking here. Esme was thrilled, but she did say we could mess it up a little for tonight."

From the kitchen Bella yelped, Emmett laughed, and Edward sighed and reached for the bandages again.

please review, i have a little more to the story, but this is the best stopping point. i only know where i'm going to a certain point, but after that feedback would really help. feel free to say whatever you're thinking.

love, star


	2. Chapter 2

Dinner party

Dinner Party by 2nd Star tothe Right

_Everything in the Twilight universe is Stephenie Meyer's. Thank you very much for letting me play with your toys._

_Thank you so much to my ten reviewers! I really didn't think anyone would be so interested in my story! You all defiantly made my week. _

Alice's POV

Set after Eclipse, Bella's still human

Chapter Two

"They're cooooming!" I sang the words out of relief, Bella had asked me to watch for Carlisle and his friends leaving the hospital, but Carlisle had been stalling for our sake.

"Oh wait- good news!" I explained to the assembled kitchen staff (Bella could open a chain of restaurants at this point) that Carlisle would leave work in a few minutes, with his guests, but they would be stopping home to pick up their kids.

Rosalie looked skeptical, "You call that good news? Kids?"

"Yeah, I know but it will buy us a little time with Carlisle… we can all get our stories straight."

Bella interrupted our bickering, "Either way they'll all be here soon, and that means I need you to set the table," she motioned to Jasper and I towards the dish cabinets, "Using this," and she handed us a tableware diagram.

Seriously? "Bella…"

"No, no, don't worry, it's not a fancy set up. We're only doing a pasta course and a meat course. And soup and salads. And dessert. With coffee."

I sighed, "Crap Bella, where do you think we're going to put all that food?"

She shot be a look, "You'll be hiding it in your napkins, under the table, whatever."

I continued to look skeptical, and was about to say something but she spoke a little quicker, "Alice, if you can outwit the Volturi, I think you can manage to stash a few courses."

I closed my mouth and she continued, "Besides, if they're eating they can't be asking questions, and afterwards they'll be too tired to hang out- they'll just go home and sleep it off." Jasper nodded appreciatively and went to get dishes for the table. I trailed behind him listening to Bella boss around her cooking crew.

We were nearly done when Carlisle's car pulled into the garage. He hurried inside, and everyone convened in the living room.

He raised his eyebrow at the pile of magazines on his coffee table- the top of which was a trashy gossip rag, but didn't comment. Edward burst out laughing and they shared a grin.

I hate being left out. "So?"

Carlisle straightened his face. "So. They'll be here in a half hour. They are the Thomas family; I work with Dr. Thomas, and his wife is a part time receptionist at the hospital. Bella thank you for putting all this together, it smells great."

She bobbed her head happily, but I had to ask, "It smells good to you?" He laughed shortly, "No, but I'm sure it will to the Thomas family. Now, Esme, do you still have that floor-length table cloth? I think it would go a long way to concealing the food." Esme grinned at him, "Way ahead of you!" She turned slightly to address the whole group, "I also think it would be a good idea if we changed into things with long, loose sleeves."

"Oh, good idea!"

"Yes, Bella you should too, just so you don't stand out."

Oooooooooh. "YAY!" Bella twitched when I yelled and instinctively started to back up but I grabbed her and ran us both upstairs, completely ignoring Edward. (Who was only pretending to interfere for Bella's sake.) Everyone knows she looks much cuter when I pick out her clothes. The girl doesn't seem to understand about appearances. I changed quickly and then spent the majority of our remaining time on Bella.

I have a lot of tops that are long-sleeved (that whole sun thing...) but the true trick is to find clothes that cover you up but still make you look awesome. We had to try on several outfits and although I had been buying things in her size too lately, I had to pretend it was all mine, because otherwise she'd put up a fuss and get Edward involved. I could hear him in the hall, laughing at my thoughts, but I knew he probably wouldn't clue in Bella. Again, he acknowledges that as far as taste goes- I am queen.

Forty minutes later Bella looked fantastic in a scoop neck, gray cotton top that was slightly too big for me, but fit her perfectly. I finally talked her into keeping it after dinner. That had been the idea all along (it's not like I don't know what size I take after a century of obsessive shopping.)

We went out to sit on the landing that over looked the first level entry way. The boys were already waiting there for us to finish. Edward clearly agreed that she looked great in the top. Of course.

Bella went to put a hand on her newly perfected hair, but I slapped it lightly away before any real damage could be done.

"Alice. I'm _not_ My Size Barbie!"

"Psh! Never! You really couldn't pull off blonde, but you look way better in heels."

"Alice. The only time I was in heels, I had a cast on too."

Edward and I chimed at the same time, "And you still looked good!"

Esme laughed as she and Rosalie walked up and sat down on the landing with the rest of us. The boys had been waiting considerably longer, the silly things could fit all their shoes in one drawer- where are the choices? The decisions? The fun!

Edward was making faces at my mental process but Carlisle's phone rang and we all shut up to properly eavesdrop. Apparently the Thomas' had gotten lost. We listened in silence as Carlisle directed them straight to our driveway, agreed about how long it was, apologized, promised to see them soon, and hung up.

Carlisle popped his head out of his office door and grinned at us all, "Showtime!"

_I'll pay you in e-cookies if you review! I'm not above bribery! And I really do need help with where this should go… I was writing it on the plane back from Italy, but the jetlag broke my rhythm and now I don't know what else to write. Feel free to say what you're thinking,_

_Love, Star_


	3. Chapter 3

Dinner Party by 2nd Star tothe Right

_Everything in the Twilight universe is Stephenie Meyer's. Thank you very much for letting me play with your toys._

_You have no idea how hard I've been trying to write this. I swear I deeply appreciate all of my reviewers and favorite-ers, and I feel more than guilty that I wasn't posting fast, but its not for lack of trying. I'm not a writer by nature and this thing really wanted to be a drawing, not a story. All of that to say, I'm deeply grateful for your attentions and I beg you for ideas/thoughts/suggestions/food. _

_To make good on my last attempt at bribery- yummy yummy e-cookies all around!! _

Alice's POV

Set after Eclipse, Bella's still human

Chapter Three

Esme stuck her head around the front door, speaking in a low but urgent voice, "There's a problem." At first I thought she meant with the porch, which she had been 'straightening' one last time before the Thomas' got here. Carlisle was immediately next to her, a hand supporting her lower back, and the family gathered around them- it takes a lot to shake up Esme.

She spoke quickly; Bella was making faces so it must have been faster than she could hear, "They're here, they just pulled into the driveway, and I could smell the twins…" She stopped explaining because now we could all smell them. Edward gaped, he hates being caught off guard, and Emmett chuckled obscurely.

I had a vision of the whole family crammed into a soccer van, the twins had inherited the red-brown skin and black eyes and hair of their birth parents.

Jasper nudged me- Bella wasn't sure whether to be angry or scared and the emotional confusion was upsetting him. My poor man. I explained to Bella hurriedly, "the twins, they must have been adopted… they smell like members of the Quileute pack. I wasn't looking for it; I didn't know there was anything to watch for."

She gaped at me and Edward picked up where I left off as the others palpable cleared their surprise and slid into normal human activities. "I couldn't tell because no one thinks of them as adopted, they must have been very young, I doubt they remember it, and their parents think of them in the same way as their biological children. It's really very sweet."

"HA!" I interrupted his little reminiscing (Edward has a soft spot for adoptions, ala his second life adoption) "There's nothing sweet about it! I've lost all my visions! I have no idea what's going on."

I danced out of Jasper's reach- his talent is stronger if he's touching you and the situation warranted a respectable panic. He made a face at Edward's laughing reaction to my thoughts, and then there was no more time for bickering.

We all listened to the car shift to park. There was a click and I realized the driver had set the emergency break… on our flat, mile long driveway. Okay. Rosalie read my expression and began snickering again. Oh for goodness sakes, I linked arms with her and hustled her toward the door. Behind me I could hear Emmett muttering the word 'rematch' in wounded tones. I swear he lives for rematches.

It's so odd to be without visions. It's like being without sound or color, I don't know, pick your favorite sense and ditch it. Grr. Emmett snickered this time and Jasper nudged him. Well at least they would believe that we were children. Edward snorted and then raised an eyebrow at in the direction of the door.

Everyone heard Edward whisper to Bella, "The Thomas's also brought their dog, Muffinface. We'll be able to feed it our food." She shot him a confused look, "But won't it be trying to avoid you?" He gave her an appraising look- he's always so surprised to find out she's been paying attention- and I butted in, whispering fast as Carlisle moved to the door, "It's all relative, the whole house smells of vampire, and the table will smell like vampire and food."

She raised and eyebrow, either at my use of the V word, or my grasp of dog-psychology, but I could hear the Thomas's on our doorstep, hesitating before the impressive-looking doorbell. (Carlisle got it for Esme at a rare antique auction in '45.) Bella leaned towards me, "Wait, Muffinface?" I snickered, Rosalie-style, as the doorbell rang, and we all straightened our clothes and smiles and took the last breath of the evening.

Carlisle swung open the front door to reveal the Thomas'- Mom, Dad, older daughter- in high school with us, and younger, twin boys. Middle school maybe. Muffinface was in the daughter's arms. It had it's head stuffed under her arm and it was whimpering in terror. I felt a little bad for it, but I could feel Emmett trying not to laugh behind me.

The pleasantries flowed well; the Thomas's were invited in, we were introduced formally, the Thomas's tried not to stare, Emmett tried not to laugh, I tried not to spend too much time obsessing over the future. The dog ran and cowered in our kitchen, Edward patrolled every mind in the house (rather smugly if you ask me) and we all followed Esme to the dining room. Which did look great, if I do say so myself.

Bella smoothly offers to "help you in the kitchen, Esme" and she, "oh, thank you, honey." They both prance off to serve the appetizers and I realize Esme's actually very excited about this. We all move to the table- it looks huge, two table slid together and covered with long tablecloths to hide the mess we're about to make on Esme's floor- and take our seats.

Bella had the good sense to put down place cards, so the Thomas's end up sitting together on one side of the table. Less likely to catch our subtle food-disposal gestures than if they were sitting along side us. Carlisle's at the head of the table, to his right is Esme, and across from her is Dr. and Ms. Thomas. Next to Ms. Thomas is the twins, who have been whispering to themselves in Quileute since they got here.

Apparently they do know they were adopted. As Esme returns and places shrimp and cocktail sauce on the table I hear Ms. Thomas explain that the twins have been speaking their own native language for a year and a half. I grimace, how special of them. I feel like a child, but I'm more than a little jealous that we all get to depend on Edward for information tonight.

Bella puts a dish of shrimp on our half of the table- we're down at the other end, and as she sits down on Edwards' right I realize that the Thomas girl hasn't stopped staring at Edward. I thought it might get down to this. It took her about three minutes to realize that she's sitting down to dinner with the famous, gorgeous, Cullen boys, and will never we this close to them again. So she'll be analyzing them all night long. Or maybe more than analyzing.

I giggle into my napkin as she reaches for the shrimp and pops it in her mouth, never taking her eyes off Edward. Bella's noticed by now and is bristling a bit.

So I'm watching them, and only when I glance back at my husband do I realize that he, Emmett, and Rosalie are all pretending not to be staring at the junior wolves.

Oh, I'm sorry, not wolves yet, just enough potential to block my sight! Ugh! (Passive aggressive? Me?)

I hate having to do this the hard way, but I've got to know what they are all looking at so I start watching them, while subtly feeding my shrimp to the dog. Bella catches the movement as she gets up to serve the main course and sends me a glare for a few seconds before returning it to the Thompson girl- Tina or Christa or something, who's completely ignoring her pasta and gazing at Edward who is flat out ignoring her. I swear that boy is like a soap opera. Though it seems I'm going to have to remind Bella that it was _her_ plan to have half of this dinner party throwing food on the floor.

Judging from the appreciative noises of the humans as she and Esme brought out the pasta course, it was worthy of a five-star restaurant. Shame that most of it was being ground into the carpet or fed to the dog. By the way, here's where being a girl rocks. Humans just expect us to eat less. So while Rosalie and I pick apart our food, Emmett, Edwards, and the fabulous Jasper have to slog through substantial portions. Edward is glaring at me over his water glass, but that's what he gets for eavesdropping. I mentally stick out my tongue at him.

Then I caught what had half of my siblings deeply occupied. We weren't the only ones being sneaky with our food. On the other side of the table the wolf twins were carefully palming handfuls of garlic into every dish on the table when they thought no one was looking. I gawped for a second before I started mentally yelping Edward's name and directed him to watch them. Of course turning to face the twins meant looking at Christa, who gasped at the sudden attention and tried to lay a hand on his arm.

I looked away ( you don't always need to be psychic to know what's going to happen) just in time to see one of the twins pour a flask of clear liquid into the water pitcher. I was confused for a second but Emmett leaned in slightly and murmured "holy water."

Oooooh. So that's how we're playing. I leaned back over to Emmett, "You know this means they'll be watching for us to eat something." He laughed and the twins' heads jerked up, so he slowly reached across Rosalie, spooned some garlic-covered pasta onto his plate and ate it slowly, grinning widely the whole time.

Rosalie looked fairly nauseated (no doubt thinking of what he'd have to do once the Thomas' left) but I felt the need to support his act. I poured my self a glass of water from the newly blessed pitcher, toasted the gaping twins silently and drank.

Ew. But worth it. They were staring at us openly now, and then suddenly both asked to use the bathroom. At that one we all split into grins, which from the look on their faces was less than comforting. Going to the bathroom meant going upstairs. Past Carlisle's father's cross.

Cullens, Two; Thomas', Zero.

I offered to show them, since I _so_ could not miss this, and Rosalie announced the need to use the ladies' room as well. It's kinda fun when we're in sync.

As we got up, I got a better look at the huge table- apparently the grown-up humans and Mom and Pop Carlisle hadn't realized what was going on at our end of the table. And from Edward's expression he was reciting all six volumes of The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire in his head. In Latin. Poor kid, the Christa girl was all over him, and Bella looked like she might poison the next course, just for her.

Rosalie and I excused ourselves and led the twins upstairs, listening to the Thomas' praise Esme on our "lovely manners" as Emmett caught on and bolted to catch up with us on the stairs. We all ran at a nice, slow human pace to wait for the twins under Carlisle's cross, so we could have a good visual of their expressions.

_Im stopping here.. I've no idea what to do with this puppy long range, so if you have any suggestions or even thoughts of what NOT to do, please let me know! love, star_


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